well... i'm up here in "beautiful" big rapids, mi, tonight; and this is my first stop on my tour of the north (unfortunately, this is business, not pleasure, so don't expect any post cards).

Although it is really late (or early), 5:30ish am, i need to get some sleep and have access to some power sockets and a phone line. i decide to stop in at a hotel, as hotels can usually provide these amenities. so i see a super 8 and figure, "you know, i'm only gonna be here for like 8 hours, and i'm probably gonna get charged for a full night anyway, why not go to super 8? it will likely be cheaper...."
Now those of you in the know are aware of the fact then when on these business trips, my company pays for the rooms. but regardless of this fact, i like to be frugal when possible.
So i parked my car, fully intent on staying the night (or morning, to you crazy 9 to 5ers). as i approach the front door, i see a woman standing in front of the desk (front being the side that guests stand on when checking in).
(At this time i would like to mention that in my travels, it has not been odd to see an employee standing on the guest side of the desk at an hour such as this. clearly this is not peak check-in time, and the atmosphere is often much more loose. i only mention this because of what i'm about to tell you.)
(Also at this time i would like to go into a lengthy description of this woman at the desk. but as i'm sure you've got better things to do, i'll summarize in two words: white.... trash.... (as i've also seen in my travels, a person of a white trash nature is not excluded from the list of possible 3rd shift hotel employees, so i was not, as yet, thrown))
So i see this woman standing there, and as i open the door she says, "hello." i of course replied in the normal manner. now this is where my two asides come into play. i brought that knowledge to your attention, because what the white trash woman did next forced me to assume that she must be the desk clerk.
This white trash woman was standing at the desk with documents in her white trash hands, giving me a white trash stare-down suggesting that she was waiting for me to say something. i glanced behind the desk to see if there was a clerk, and there was not. now my assumption became this fact in my mind: she must be the clerk.
me: I'd like to get a room
wtw: (pause).... you know damn well what side of the counter i'm standin' on....!
me: what??
wtw: you're a joke.
me: ummmmm......
wtw: pfffffft.
Now i have no idea what the deal was with this chick, suffice it to say i was PISSED.
This wouldn't have bothered me as much, except for the fact that i was left speechless, and didn't immediately say something clever to straighten her out. i was so sliced off, that after standing there for a minute, then seeing the real clerk come out, then listening to her complain about some problem with her bill, that i decided to take my business elsewhere. unfortunately, my day was already ruined, as my silent anger seethed up from the bottom of my feet, all through my body. visions of snappy comebacks or just a good old-fashioned hand upside the head danced in my mind. no relocation of any kind could save me now; of that i was sure.
(note: the preceding was not in any way meant to be insulting to all white trash women everywhere. i have found many of them to have very sweet dispositions. this is only meant to insult the mean ones.)
Next stop: holiday inn. short version: i stood at the counter for five minutes only to be told by some abercrombie & fitch reject that the hotel was booked; and he gave me the "you must be crazy to try to book a room at 5:30 in the morning" look. i asked where else i might stay, besides the super 8, of course. he told me the country inn & suites and the best western were both nearby, but that the best western would be cheaper.
Again trying to be frugal, i figured, "okay, best western's aren't likely to have an ambiguous working force, and why make the company pay big bucks for a few hours of sleep?"
So i began to follow the directions that mister justin timberlake gave me, and they led me directly to.... prepare yourself.... the country inn & suites. now i wasn't about to go searching around for some elusive best western, so i, ever the company man, considered going to the wal-mart across the street and sleeping in the parking lot (i'm told that wal-mart encourages travelers to take advantage of their expansive lots).
The only problem i could see, was that wal-mart would be unable to provide me with the power sockets and phone lines that i so desperately needed to charge my equipment and send my paperwork in with, respectively.
I parked my car in the ci&s, and went inside. behind the desk in the obvious place for a desk clerk was Donna the Desk Clerk. in front of the desk was a patron of the hotel. and you know what he did? he had Donna the Desk Clerk check him out of his room, and reserved another room for next week. mr. patron never once gave me any solicitous stares, nor did he insult me.
"Already," i thought, "things are lookin' up!"
After his business with Donna the Desk Clerk had concluded, i conducted a little business of my own. as it turned out, Donna the Desk Clerk was one of the nicest women i've ever met. and the woman running the continental breakfast was just as nice. they both encouraged me to have a waffle.
"They're delicious," they insist.
I told them that i had some things to take care of and that maybe i would return to have a waffle. and i may yet.
Anyway, these two ladies really lifted my spirits. and i've forgotten all about my plans to hunt down white trash woman and to reign my vengeance upon her, all the while yelling things like, "who's the joke now?!? huh?!?! what?!!? who is it?!!??!!!?!"

so.... thank goodness i couldn't find the best western.